Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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