Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
