I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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