im about as happy as oj after his trial
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
