The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
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I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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