No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
