Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Randomize
