No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
