the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
