Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
