I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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