we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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