So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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