no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
