Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
