ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
