ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The Olympian is in my bed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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