just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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