She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
