hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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