I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
