Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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