explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
i need some magic done to my vagina
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize