No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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