Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
