I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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