OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i wish my penis had a tongue
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
