I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
