Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
