I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
