My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Randomize