Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
