I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
