this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
