your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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