When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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