nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
