so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
