I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
