There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
