We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
