sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize