Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We are two peas in an std pod
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize