Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize