apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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