So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
