I could make wine with my vomit
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We need to rekindle our bromance
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend