HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.