It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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