Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?