Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Randomize
