only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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