toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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