I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
