i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
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The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
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I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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