Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
So many bounce houses so little time
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Randomize
