Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
