Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize