Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
