This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
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We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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